When You Get Tired of Prayer

I'm tired of praying.

There I said it.

I hate to admit that but I’m just being real. Sometimes prayers seem to go nowhere.  I'm tired of praying and not seeing anything change.

I have always said that it would be a whole lot easier if prayer was more of a tangible dialogue. Prayer requires faith. It also requires a LOT of effort.  There are times - like now - that I am tired of making that effort without seeing any results.  

A prayer life is difficult to keep consistent.

For me, I can go a long stretch when I feel good about my prayer life but then there are times when it’s just not sparking my joy. I don’t like it when I pray and nothing happens. I’m sure we all feel that way.

I’m not saying that I want everything to go my way and that I get everything that I pray for but there are times that it seems like nothing is getting done and sometimes they even get worse and go in the opposite direction of what I am praying for. 

I know that God works in mysterious ways and He answers prayers the way He wants to answer them but knowing that doesn’t help. I have better momentum when I see results. Why pray if you don’t see results?

It’s hard.

I have been around church all of my life and I have seen the many ways how people pray. I have known many who pray very loud as if God is deaf as if the volume level of their prayer matters.

I have known many who pray in tongues.  I am not criticizing praying in tongues but I've never been able to understand how this is effective either.  Is it more effective than praying in English?  I haven't seen it or experienced it.  Praying in tongues doesn't make someone more spiritual or increase one's chances in getting prayers answered.

When I was younger I would beg and plead with God to answer my prayers and even make deals with God to answer them.  God doesn't make deals to answer our prayers unless it is His will to do so.  

I have become very quiet and meditative now. God knows my needs and I will ask but I also prefer to sit quietly and try to listen. Not with my physical ear but listen in my spirit. This is not easy to do. I will admit that I don’t think I am very good at it. I wonder sometimes if God even hears my prayers. I don’t think I’m spiritual enough.

When we feel like our prayers aren’t getting anything done, it’s important to remember that this is a common experience. God is always listening. We have to press through it and continuing to pray. We have to trust that God is working even if we don’t see it.

Something I just came across on this subject is that we should consider changing things up with the way we are praying. Some suggest journaling - writing down our prayers. Others say to change HOW we pray. Sometimes we get stuck in the way we are praying.

One thing that I was reminded while writing this blog is that prayer is not about getting results but communication with God. No, He doesn’t answer in a way that we can hear with our physical ears but He communicates in other ways but only if we commit the time to spend with Him. In our fast paced world we want things immediately without spending much time.

God may not decide to answer our prayers like we want Him to, but He will answer them. The good thing about praying is knowing we are doing everything we can do. We need to let that give us comfort and continue to pray.

Help! My Overthinking is Stressing Me Out!

My wife can look at me and know that I am stressed.

I have felt overwhelmed a lot lately with my job and our preparation to move.

This is not a good time to be me. I want to be past this yet here I am.

Yes I have faith and believe in God but I still stress about things. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t seem to let it go.

Life is tough sometimes. It isn’t always planned out like you would like. Sometimes you just step out with no guarantee that you are making the right decision. It’s scary and I let it stress me out. When I take time to be still and sit silently, I feel peace. The problem is that I don’t do it enough. Unfortunately the times I plan to sit still are the times I remember other things that need to be done.

The Bible says to cast our cares on Christ because He cares for us. I need to do a better job of that. What has my worrying ever done for me?

If overthinking were a professional sport, I would be an all-star in that league.  My mind tends to always think ahead and stress about things that hasn't even happened yet.  It is a constant battle for me to rein it in and just deal with the issues ahead of me at the moment.  

So if you're like me, what can you do?

The first step is to recognize that the stress and overthinking are out of control.  You have to realize that you may not be able to stop it but you can attempt to contain it.  Next, take steps to back it down a notch.  Force yourself to start your day right with some time of silence and meditative prayer.  For me, I set a timer and stick to it.  It may begin with just five minutes but you can adjust it as you grow in doing it.  Does it last?  No but the important thing is to not give up.  When you fall off the wagon, get back on it.  

You may not think five minutes is a lot but ANY time you commit to God is worth it.  

So, here I am again - starting over with my five minutes.  It still isn't easy.  It takes discipline to sit quietly and center yourself and your mind to listen to God.  

Move #32

I have moved a lot in my life. 

I will soon relocate for the 32nd time.

My first residence was 2802 South 11th Street in Abilene, Texas when I arrived in the world. I moved around a lot as a child. My father was a preacher in a church organization which had one-year pastoral appointments and was possible to move every year which we did many times.

I attended nine different schools in 12 years.

While some are born and live in the same place for their entire life, I have never been able to comprehend that for myself.

The longest I have lived in one place is six years which is where I am preparing to leave now.

Home has never been a physical place for me but the older I get, I am hopeful in finding that place which attaches to me. A place where I want to stay and never again have to feel that urge to move again.

I never have enjoyed the actual move itself. It gets harder and more stressful each time.

Could this be the last move?

Rarely have I moved somewhere looking to move. The most recent time was when we moved to Tampa, Florida. After two months, I was ready to leave. It took two years to do it.

Why can’t I stay in one place? I don’t always move somewhere already thinking about moving again. I haven’t found the perfect place for me.

Is there a perfect place?  I would like to stay somewhere and not tire of it.

I am looking for a new adventure.  Will it be the right move? I don’t know. Nothing is permanent.

A new adventure awaits.

It all began for me in Abilene, Texas.  Where will it end?

I am not lost. Just wandering (and wondering). 

There is a saying that says: “All who wander are not lost.”