Haven't we all?
I remember praying desperately once for God to remove a difficult co-worker. Guess what happened? He answered my prayer! The difficult person was transferred to another department only to be replaced by TWO difficult people.
Very funny God. You have an amazing sense of humor.
Seriously though, I learned a lesson that we will always have the opportunity to deal with the difficult people in our lives. There is a Proverbs that says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Now I know what that means.
Difficult people challenge us and exposes parts of us that need work. I often remember working with people who were very smart and arrogant. I let them intimidate me because they were smarter than me until I finally realized that instead of feeling threatened by them that I needed to open my mind to learn from them.
We are not going to avoid the difficult people in our lives. I have stopped trying to pray difficult people out of my life. Instead, I try to work with what I have been dealt. Difficult people either knowingly or unknowingly know how to push our buttons and stir us up in some way. You can agree with me that dealing with such people becomes a test in our how we show love, patience and grace. It's not an easy task.
I worked with a person once who seemingly would go out of his way to needle me and irritate me. Most of the time I ended up not responding very well and later I was upset with myself on how I responded. It sure is difficult to be a Christian or be any kind of witness when you are as mad as a hornet at someone. Did I ever pass the test with this person? No. Never did. I failed miserably every time. It was a lesson in humility.
So, who pushes your buttons? You probably immediately thought of someone. What can you or I do about it? My main fallback method is to AVOID them at all costs. That's not the best way to deal with people you don't get along with.
The important thing is knowing that you are going to have to encounter the difficult person. This helps you to prepare yourself mentally. The better you know the personality of this person; you can prepare yourself on how to disarm their comments or difficult behavior. Sometimes you just have to resort to confronting their actions directly. I worked with a person who started calling me "Uncle Miltie". This is a HUGE irritant for me. After about the second or third time, I stopped and told him that I would appreciate it if he didn't call me that. I didn't yell or respond badly to him, but he got the point and never did it again. The main thing is that I overcame my fear of confrontation to set some boundaries with this person. Besides, he found other ways to be difficult.
What if you are related to the difficult person?
Yeah, that is a tough one but also know that just because someone shares family relations doesn't give them a free pass to be difficult. If possible, try to respond gently but same issues with boundaries apply here also. People always excused one of my relatives by saying "well, that's the way he is". I'm sorry but that excuse doesn't fly with me. You do NOT have to allow toxic people to rule your life just because they are your aunt, cousin or in-law.
Sure, as believers in Christ was should always strive to respond with love to others but we live in the REAL world. Some people are work. We must try to make the effort, but we aren't superhumans. The main thing to remember is that you and I have the control on whether or not the difficult person can "push our buttons". Be confident in who you are. Avoid taking things personally. Hurting people usually hurt others. There is a reason they are difficult.
Most important of all - don't BE the difficult person.
