I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I have been my whole life. That isn't going to change and I am not ashamed of that.
Before you scroll past, let me assure you that even though I am a Christian, I am not one of THOSE Christians. I am not a believer who follows a politician or preacher. There is no one else but Christ. No other "chosen one" but Him.
Let me tell you that even though I am a believer, I do screw up sometimes. Sometimes they are huge. I don't have it figured out and many times I have to come back and repair the damage I have made. Being a Christian doesn't make me not human. I'm every bit human. I mess up but I don't give up. Many days I wake up and wipe the slate clean and begin with a new mind and focus.
I am not alone. The Bible is filled with less-than-perfect people.
Noah got drunk
Jonah ran away
Moses stuttered
Abraham was old
Lazarus was dead
Peter had a temper
David had an affair
Zaccheus was short
Martha had anxiety
Paul was a murderer
Jacob was a cheater
Gideon was insecure
Sarah was impatient
Elijah was depressed
Miriam was a gossiper
Thomas was a doubter
Rahab was a prostitute
We all have limitations and conflicts. Even the Bible "heroes" had their issues but God still used them. Becoming a believer in Christ doesn't make you above everyone and it certainly doesn't mean you have to be crazy.
To be honest with you, I have some days when I just think I'm a failure. How can God use me? What good am I to Him? There's nothing special about me. I'm not a preacher, missionary or anything dynamic. I'm just me. Sometimes being me isn't easy. I look at my life many times and see why God didn't give me any kind of ministry or calling. I floundered so much with that early in my life. I'm not sure I have found it but I just live one day at a time. Some days are good and some days aren't so good.
One thing I do is that I press forward. It may not always be easy but it will be worth it in the end. I refuse to give up. I always think of that old hymn:
"I am determined to hold out to the end,
Jesus is with me, on Him I can depend.
And I know I have salvation, for I feel it in my soul,
I am determined to hold to the end."
God doesn't use perfect people, He uses people who don't give up and those who rise above their imperfections.
