I often post blogs which are transparent at times with my relationship with God. Well, today wasn’t one of my best days. My so-called Christian example went out the window. I’m not feeling real Christian-like right now.
Today I lost my temper. Yep, this shinning example of a Christian was anything but that today. My anger was justified but I failed miserably in the way I handled it. I had been better with handling similar issues and finding a way to bring peace and deescalate situations but I spiraled out of control today.
Right now I’m feeling pretty bad about it. Today I failed. I’m not anyone’s example. I could have done better.
I don’t know how to fix what happened today. I will just wake up in the morning and try to make it a better day. When you have disappointed yourself, you have to take the loss and regroup. I will be honest that it’s hard to regroup or be my own cheerleader right now.
It’s not important to share details about what happened. I don’t want to rehash it - although I have already done it hundreds of times in my mind. I wish I had a redo. I’m not sure that will happen. It’s funny how things can get out of control so fast. Hopefully I can learn from this and get back on track. Honestly, it may take me a while.
I have no Bible verses to quote right now or any clever sayings I found on the Internet. This is real life folks. We all screw up sometimes. Being a Christian doesn’t make you perfect. I’m sure this is why God has never used me in any official ministry because I’m not one of those “special Christians” who can speak in tongues all the time and have visitations from God on a regular basis. I’m not an apostle. I’m simply me. I fail sometimes and sometimes I screw it up big time. I’m just being real. It makes you wonder if God can really use you.
I know I will have better days and I will have days that I get it right but it is days like today that you feel like any good you have done was wiped out with one heated moment of emotions. I’m human. That’s not an excuse but it is honest. As much as some would like you to believe you can just float around in this world like the Holy Ghost, we are still flawed humans.
Today I got knocked down but I will get back up.
