None of us like to think about “the end” and you won’t be a hit at parties for bringing up this subject. Most people want to avoid talking about it but the reality is that there is no way we can avoid it.
So, in the end, what will matter most?
When we get to the end of our lives, what are the things that we wished we had done with our lives? How would we have done things differently?
I recently read an article by Ashton Jackson who is an ex-caregiver for Hospice. In the article (read here), he shares his experience of the regrets hospice patients have at the end of their lives.
“I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Sadly many fall into the trap of living to please others. We become driven by the expectations of others. Why do we live our lives to make others happy when we are miserable? I have done that and made the decision late in my life to change it. Was it easy? In many ways it was. It was like being able to breathe and be free. For me, it was worth it. There is absolutely NO reason to stay prisoner in a life where you can’t be your true self.
“I wish I hadn't worked so hard.”
I don’t think anyone will wished they had spent more time at the office. When I retired from my job, some wondered what they would do without me. I told them that they would just hire someone else to replace me. Most of us have to work to pay the bills - that’s the reality of life. Some of us realize that we will always have to work but we must recognize the importance of balance. According to a Harris Poll of 1,170 American workers, 78% are currently forfeiting their vacation time and overextending themselves to get ahead professionally.
“I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.”
We often fear that people won’t accept us for who we are. We want to fit in. While we should feel free to express our feelings, we must also have balance. This doesn’t give us a license to hate but filter our feelings so that we can express them in a diplomatic way.
“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
During the course of my life I have learned that many friends are in our lives for a season. They are there for a short time and then they are gone. For whatever, reason we lose touch. For me personally, it has always been one-sided where I was the one that had to make the effort to keep the friendship going. If someone values your friendship, they will also do their part to keep in touch.
“I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
This one depends on how we define “happiness”. Happiness is not money or a job title. If you can enjoy where you are and be content, then you can experience true happiness. I have known people who thought that when they retired, they would be happy but when they retired there was something else they pursued to find their happiness. Happiness is not a destination, it is within you.
The main thing we should all think about when faced with thought about “the end” is our eternal destiny. For me, I have chosen to put my faith in Jesus and his resurrection and the promise that I would also have eternal life. Many do not believe. I can’t force you to believe. You either believe or you don’t.
We’re not comfortable thinking about “the end” but we should life our life today so that the end doesn’t leave us empty.
The clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop.
At late or early hour,
To lose one’s wealth is sad indeed.
To lose one’s health is more.
To lose one’s soul is such a loss,
That no man can restore.
