What am I supposed to do with my life?
Where do I fit in?
I’m sure we have all asked ourselves these questions at some point in our lives.
I guess the first time I asked that question of my life was the summer between my junior and senior years of high school. I had no clue what I was going to do with my life. How is a 17-year old expected to know that? I certainly didn’t know the answer. Many assumed that I would follow in the footsteps of my dad and become a preacher. That was not my path. I did duplicate his life by making the decision to join the Air Force as he had done at the same age. So during that summer I entered the delayed enlistment program. The following summer just 22 days after I graduated, I left home to enter active duty.
It has been a long journey since that day when I boarded a Greyhound bus in Savannah, Georgia. When I look back on it now I see that I used the Air Force as a way to give myself time to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. Being in the military wasn’t it. I’m thankful that God was patient with me and He guided my steps. I won’t tell you that I spent every day in prayer about it. It wasn’t a burning bush or voice from heaven but It took me taking one step at a time.
I also went through a period where I was what I called “floundering” as I wanted to find God’s calling which I assumed was some type of ministry. I was a youth director, Sunday School Teacher, Men’s Ministry Director, Media Minister and many other things. None of those worked out for me. I always felt like I was trying to force myself to live the expectations of others. I never could fully find satisfaction in those things because they weren’t who I was.
I will be honest with you. For most of my life I never felt that I fit in anywhere. I have always been the outsider. The person who is pushed to the side. Finding myself in a job or church or anything has proved to be an impossible quest.
So what have I discovered? I have discovered that the answer is not in any job title or church ministry. The discovery is just to be myself and be the best that I can be. Doing that brings freedom that you can simply just be who you are. When you do that, other things will follow. We just put too much pressure on ourselves to pursue what we are not when we can just be who we are.
Sure, I still have those times when I fight the insecurities of being pushed to the side or ignored but in those times I have to remind myself that it’s okay to be me and that I don’t have to play a role. To know who you are and being comfortable in your own being is amazing.
During the course of my work life I have seen many coworkers who would strive to be the superstar. I know because I was once that person. When a person becomes a superstar, do you know what that gets them? More work and even more is expected of them. You eventually get stretched thin to the point that there is nothing left to give.
I would say to you that God has the same motto as the U.S. Army. He simply wants you to be all you can be. He has a purpose for us. It isn’t some hidden riddle that is only revealed through a supernatural encounter. He wants us to just be the best version of ourselves that we can be. God helps us to find our place in this world by being our friend.
I am eternally grateful for God’s gentle nudges to help me find my way. I have found my place in this world. I’m not the best employee and I don’t have a worldwide ministry. I can only be me and let God use what I have. He doesn’t need superstars, He needs good people with integrity.
