Confidence is a delicate and fickle thing. There are times when we need a boost in our confidence. I find myself in this place right now.
I have always had to struggle with confidence. Unfortunately, I didn't grow up in the "modern parenting" world. I was told "no" often and never encouraged that I could pursue my dreams. In fact, I was often scolded as being an "idiot". It is no wonder that I have always struggled with having a healthy self-esteem.
In my most recent battle with confidence, I look for ways to build it up. I won't use any religious cliches' here and tell you to "look to the Lord" because you can't just sit in a chair and wait for God to pour out a big bucket of confidence on your head. He will help us, but it isn't something we can gain by doing nothing about it. It's like the old New York Yankees great Yogi Berra used to say about baseball. He said the game was 90% mental. That's how confidence is. It is largely mental.
When I was looking up some Bible verses about confidence, there were three that I really thought applied here:
"For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught" (Proverbs 3:36)
I don't think I've ever read this one before, but it is quite timely for me right now. It tells me that where I am lacking in confidence that the Lord will be with me through this time.
"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God." (2 Corinthians 3:5)
Sometimes people confuse confidence and arrogance. We shouldn't think we are anything on our own. If God provides it, He is the source - not us.
And finally, here's one I have always read:
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)
I like the word "all" in this verse because it doesn't limit God's ability.
In going through this time of building confidence, I have found these things help:
- Win the small battles - don't be overwhelmed by the things you are facing. Focus on the positive and win the small battles. The small things will become big things.
- Asks other for prayer - don't be embarrassed to ask others to pray for you when you are lacking confidence because they have a different perspective that you have.
- Cast down negativity - don't say "I can't do this" or any other negative thoughts that come to you mind. Reinforce the positive things.
- Identify your weaknesses - Work on the weak areas. Do whatever helps to turn those weaknesses around.
- See yourself before you see it - Talk to yourself. See yourself with confidence in your abilities.
- Don't compete with others - There will always be others who do better, know better or smarter than us. Don't let their confidence make you think less of yourself.
Several years ago, when I moved to Nashville and transferred to a new office, I was met with resistance from other co-workers who would constantly remind me of how my predecessor did the job. From day one some told me to my face that I couldn't fill her shoes. One day I got tired of hearing it and it was like a switch turned on inside of me. I finally declared that I wasn't my predecessor but that I am my own person and I know how to do the job and would do it my way from that day forward. That moment changed my entire perspective, and my confidence was restored.
Don't think because I'm writing all this that I am good at this. I am not. I am constantly working on my confidence and enforcing the bullet points that I listed above in my own life.
Certainly, God can help us, but we have to commit to casting down the negative thoughts and renew our minds so that we can build up our confidence.
