Monday, June 12, 2023

When Faith meets Fear

87,000+ Worried Man Pictures

I am currently unemployed.  This is a place I have never been before.  

Last Thursday I was laid off without warning and never saw it coming.  Needless to say, I wasn't prepared for it.

So, here I am in the middle of this time in my life where I face tremendous uncertainty.  It's a weird place to be in.  One minute I am full of faith and hopeful that things will work out and then the next I am feeling the panic racing inside of me and the fear momentarily grips me.  

I have faith but the fear is there.  I keep telling myself to be patient and wait on God's timing.  It is coming and then I wonder if it will come.  We all face these moments in life.  It's not a fun place to be.  

So let's review for a moment...what is faith?

Faith is a complete trust or confidence in someone or something.  Does complete trust mean we won't have doubts?  No.  We are still human and the doubts will be there.  The question is if the faith will outlast the fear.

I would like to say I have no doubts but I do.  There are moments it nearly consumes me but then I remember times where God has helped me and made a way and gave me favor.  I could give you some cute Christian cliche or quote a Bible verse but the honest truth is that you either trust God or you don't. Does that mean I just sit around doing nothing?  No, absolutely not.  God expects us to do our part but He will direct us.  I spend my days looking for jobs on Indeed, emailing contacts and communicating with recruiters.  The days where there is no progress are a bit demoralizing.  I know this isn't very Biblical but "brother" Tom Petty once sang "the waiting is the hardest part."   Yep, that's where I am...the waiting.

Someone once stated that God said "do not fear" a total of 365 times in the Bible.  If He said it that many times then He must be serious about it.  Apparently He has to say that to us a lot.

We have to resolve to give it to God and leave the results to Him.  It's hard to do but sometimes in life you get to the place that if God doesn't do it then it's not going to happen.  I'm in that place right now but I am also reminded that nothing is impossible with God.  There may have not been any progress today but tomorrow it could all fall into place. 

The best I can do is the best I can do.  As much as I want to make something happen, it isn't going to happen that way.  I have to press on and survive this part of my journey.

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope." — Thomas Merton