It’s difficult sometimes to keep the faith.
There I said it out loud.
It’s painful to make this confession. I have to be honest that it gets very difficult to pray and never see any results. How can one maintain momentum when you see absolutely no effect on the subject of your prayers?
I have been a believer all of my life. I can tell you in that time that I have never heard the audible voice of God, I have never had a burning bush experience and I never had a dramatic conversion story to tell you. Yes, I definitely was “saved” - as they say - at some point in my life but I honestly can’t remember when that conversion took place. I cut my teeth on the church pews so I've been around this all of my life.
Let me just tell it like it is, it is a hard road being a believer. I have had many stretches where my faith was weak. I'm going through one of those times now. I don't like these times but they aren't unexpected times either.
I am reminded of the Bible verse in Galatians 6:9 which says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Don't take this blog entry wrong, I am NOT considering giving up, I would just like to see a little more reaping.
I’m going through one of those times of being weary right now. I know when they come and what it feels like to go through them. These are the times I just become transparent with God. I’m not asking Him for things I just want me and Him to be right and if there’s something I’m missing, I want to fix it.
These are times when I lose heart. It’s when you want things to be what they should be and not what they are. I have never been one of those gung-ho Christians that many people fear. I have never been overly emotional although that was the type of church I was brought up in. I just always wanted a consistent relationship with God. I wanted it to be real, not based on emotions.
In Steven Curtis Chapman's newest song "Don't Lose Heart", he expresses it very well when he sings: When you say God help me, You're wondering if he's even listening.
You do wonder sometimes if He is listening. It's not necessarily the main point that you want something answered that you are praying for, you just like to have the assurance that He is listening to you. It's supposed to be a relationship and you need to experience that feeling and closeness with Him.
When you go through these times, the one thing you have to understand is that. you can't let discouragement win. It may SEEM like He isn't there but He is. It may SEEM like He isn't listening to you but He is and it may SEEM your prayer isn't being answered but He has things in motion. We can't lose faith in that.
You also can't count on people to pull you out of these seasons when you are losing heart in your faith. You have to do it yourself. I have been around long enough to know that in these times, you simply need God. While it's nice to have the support of people around you, they can't truly understand these times when your heart is faint.
Jesus promised us this: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15)
I don't think it can be any clearer than that. Either I believe it or I don't. Simple as that.
