When most think of Mother's Day, they think of either being with their mother or calling her on the phone on her special day. It’s a happy day to honor our mothers.
Unfortunately, it’s a little different for the rest of us who can't be with their mothers.
My mother passed away a few years ago but I have to be honest and say that I do not have any fond memories of her after I left home. She made my adult life difficult with drama and strife of her own doing. It was certainly not what I thought life would be.
There's a lot of us out here on Mother's Day who don't have that warm fuzzy feeling that most feel today with their moms.
It stinks but that's what life has dealt us.
So how does one cope with a less than honorable feeling about their moms today?
First, you try to focus on anything positive. I know that can be difficult - believe me. For me, I remember the times my mother played games with me growing up. I was an only child so I didn't have anyone to play games with so my mother would be the one would taught me to play checkers, monopoly and any board games she would find. There were times it was so intense that my dad would get onto both of us. My mom wasn't very athletic but she did shoot some hoops with a basketball a few times in a game called "Round-the-World". My dad would even join in and he always beat us. So, in spite of the times of being estranged as an adult, I do try to focus on the positive about her.
Next, remind yourself that you did all that you could to make the relationship work. Regret is a horrible weight to hang around. your neck. Avoid doing that to yourself. I know this works for me because I did try to work through our problems and although they were short-lived, I remind myself that I did try several times.
Finally, honor your mother by thanking God that she was your mother. None of us have a choice who our mother will be and somehow God gave us to them. They weren't perfect but they were your mother. If nothing else, realize that it could always have been worse.
While it seems that the rest of the world is smiling and enjoying Mother's Day, the rest of us are wondering what could have been. This isn't a happy day for us. I certainly take no joy in the difficult relationship I had with my own mother. It doesn't seem fair.
Yes, it still hurts.
If you celebrated your mom on Mother's Day because you truly love and respect your mom - even if she lives far away - cherish what you have. If your mother has passed away and you miss her, my heart goes out to you. I grieve for a mother who was never there for me as an adult which has left a scar on my heart. Time heals but it still leaves a scar
If you had a difficult mother growing up or estranged relationship as an adult, then know that you are not alone. There are those of us who experience pain and sadness on Mother's Day. We are the sons who have never experienced what it's like to have a Happy Mother's Day with their mothers. Our job is to not become bitter but become better people from the experience.
Good mothers are a blessing If you were blessed, let her know today
