Being There

What do you say to someone who is hurting?

Most of us hate to see the people we care about in pain. We want badly to say or do something that will take the hurt away. Many times there is simply nothing we can say but we can just be there.

Sometimes all we can do is sit with them.

Being there.

I read the story of Job this week and we know that everything he had was taken from him. The interesting thing to notice is how long his friends sat with Job in silence.

While Job’s friends are criticized for their later poor treatment of his troubles, at first they simply sat with him. They sat with him for seven days and seven nights without saying a word to him, because they saw how much he was suffering.

This shows us that when someone we love is hurting, it’s our presence that often matters most. Their example reminds us that even though we may not always know what to say, simply sitting with someone in their suffering may be the best thing we can do for them.

Silence makes us uncomfortable, so we may try to fill that void with words thinking there is some magical thing we can say to give comfort. But in times of great suffering, words alone are often inadequate to express the comfort or help that the hurting person truly needs.

I have been guilty of feeling compelled to say something. I think I have learned that people don’t need our words - they just need us. They need our shoulder, a hug or bring them a meal.

It’s difficult when our loved one is hurting but just simply be there. No Bible verse, no Christian cliche or comparing situations. Be the anchor that helps them get through the storm in their life.

Holy Deception

I have a problem with the recent photo depicting a group of Christian leaders in a prayer meeting with Donald Trump. I honestly don’t know how to explain this.

What is the end game here?

Trump is throwing Evangelicals a bone to keep them on the hook. He needs their support to keep his base going. It is deception like we’ve never seen before.

Sadly I see two men in this photo who I once had on my playlist and I even attended one of their churches. It has been a betrayal that still stings me.

Among those present were Trump’s longtime spiritual adviser Pastor Paula White, who also leads the White House Faith Office. California megachurch pastor Greg Laurie was also seen in the room, alongside pastor Jentezen Franklin and evangelical leader Johnnie Moore.

Jesus warned us that the very elect would be deceived and it is happening right before our eyes. Nothing has destroyed the unity of Christians more than Donald Trump’s pandering.

There has been no effort in promoting unity only division.

When Trump returned to the White House I initially thought that he might be the Anti-Christ however the more time that has passed, I am more inclined to believe that he is preparing the way for the Anti-Christ to take the world’s stage. He is the forerunner much like John the Baptist was for Jesus.

The one major obstacle for the Anti-Christ had been the strength and unity of the United States. Our country had to be weakened from the inside for any outside leader such as the Anti-Christ (and later the Beast) to take their place as a world leader. The weakening is happening before our very eyes although some are deceived in thinking Trump is supporting Christianity when he is actually manipulating people and prophetic events which will ultimately be a betrayal.

I’m still puzzled and profoundly disappointed in the support Christians are giving Trump even with blatant evidence that he is not a Christian himself.

During the recent National Prayer Breakfast, Trump rambled, lied and cursed for 77 minutes. A prayer breakfast?? What is wrong with these prominent Christians? They would have revolted if a previous President had even worn the wrong colored suit to the same event.

Why are we condoning this? I can tell you for certain that I am not. This photo is blasphemy. It is a stench to the nostrils of God and our country will be punished for it.

It is fine to pray for our president but to lift him up as if he is our Moses is not okay. All Christians should turn to God to deliver us from evil and not glorify a politician who is seeking his own agenda.

In the end Trump will be the destruction of Christianity in America. It is already taking place and we all need to cry out to God to save us.

Thoughts about Family Drama

I had this saying growing up - don’t trust family or church people.

I know some might frown on that idiotism but usually the people closest to you are the ones who hurt you the most.

Let me speak to the family part of this.

Family can drive you crazy if you let them.  If you have family, you are certainly familiar with dysfunction and drama.  

Why do some family members want to have drama?

I can tell you that I am at the age now that I don’t do drama.  I will cut you out of my life.  I don’t have time for it.  Relatives will get mad at us for the most ridiculous reasons.  I’ve had some who have gotten mad that I moved to another location.  What?  I can’t be in charge of my own life?  I need to check with others and get their approvals first before deciding what *I* want to do?

That is pathetic.

I am not proud of the fact that I have had to cut family members out of my life to eliminate the unnecessary stress and drama they create.  I have had some who would get cross with me when I didn’t do what they expected yet they ignored all the good things I had done for them.  One wrong move cancels out the good things.  It is very frustrating when family members refuse to give you the benefit of the doubt.  They will immediately make the wrong assumptions and that your intent was to hurt them.

It is impossible to manage those expectations of certain family members.  I’m just not sure what their end game could be.  

In order to be happy, you must set boundaries.  Your happiness can’t be dependent upon keeping the impossible expectations of other family members happy.  Some go out of their way to keep some family members happy.  I had a difficult family member once who made the comment that she had to worry about keeping everyone happy when the reality was that SHE was the one everyone was trying to keep happy.

Yes, it can give you a headache.

People will use the reasoning that “we’re all family” to justify keeping these family members in your life.  They may be family, but you don’t have to accept their behavior or treatment of you.  Don’t put up with the B.S.   Put your happiness first.  

Of course, not all family members are looking to stir up drama.  Some actually genuinely care about you and your happiness.  Hold onto those because that’s what family is supposed to be about.  

Ultimately, we have to manage this journey of life the best that we can.  None of us are perfect.  We don’t have to keep unhealthy relationships in our lives or be responsible for the happiness of others.  It would be nice to have harmony and get along with everyone but that’s just not the reality.  

Over time, people’s behaviors can change so cutting someone off doesn’t have to be permanent.  If you see evidence that your family member is truly willing to make amends, there may be a chance of reconciling that relationship but don’t rush to reconciliation.  You should realize that the process may take time and some solid steps for improvement.  With that in mind, you might be able to repair that broken bond and move forward with a better relationship.