Life does that to you sometimes. It drains you. All I can do is put one foot ahead of the other. I call it pushing through. Not all days are easy in life.
Unfortunately, I have tied my emotions to platelet counts. I have obsessed with results from blood labs. I know better. It has zapped my inspiration. How can I write things to inspire you when I don’t even feel it myself? I’m not going to fake it. You would see right through that.
I have had my share of Christian cliches and Bible quotes but honestly those aren’t helping me. I’m not the only one who has asked where God is in all of this?
If He’s building my character then I have obviously not had much to work with. Why would He concern Himself with me anyway? Who am I?
We all search for answers during the difficult times in life. We question our faith and the reason we believe in the first place.
I will be honest with you, I have wondered this week if I have believed in all this my whole life for nothing. Shocking I know but this is life in the valley. I hear the voice asking where is my God now?
Christian singer Franni Cash released a song recently called “Honest to God” which has been some of what I’m feeling. The chorus says:
Honest to God
It's been a long night, been a hard fight
I'm barely making it through
I need someone I can lean on
Can I really count on You?
I'm down on my knees, I wanna be
Honest to God
Throughout my life I have had to be many things to people. It’s a lot. I want to inspire people with a real God for real life but what do I do when I need it? How do I inspire myself?
I can’t even pray now. The best I can do is to sit in silence. There are no magic prayer words to pray. It’s hard to be in this place.
So, I’m sorry that I can’t inspire you right now or encourage you to be a believer but this is an honest time that real people go through when there are no easy answers. The only thing I can do is to go through this season in life.
During this season, I have often referred myself to the passage in 1 Samuel 30:6:
And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters; but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.


