Thoughts about Overthinking

Hello, my name is Milton.

I am an overthinker.

If there were a support group for overthinkers, I would probably be in it.  I might be the leader of the group.

I tend to overthink. You just have no idea.

This is what causes me my most stress. The simple act of going somewhere immediately causes my mind to jump into action. I immediately think of the best route to get there, what the parking situation is and anything else that may or may not happen. While others can simply jump in the car and go, I cannot. I must think of EVERY scenario.  All of this happens without much of a thought. My brain automatically shifts to auto pilot to overthink it.

It’s a curse. I certainly need help. I truly can’t enjoy things without creating this mental work for myself.

I recently came across an Instagram post which obviously knows me well enough to pop into my reel. It was actually some good insight to those of us who belong to overthinkers anonymous.

• Overthinkers don’t just hear words - they analyze tone, timing and hidden meaning behind them.
• Their brain keeps replaying old situations, searching for mistakes that didn’t even matter.
• They often prepare for problems that may never happen because their mind is always expecting “what if”.
• Overthinkers usually look calm in public while fighting thousands of thoughts privately.
• The smallest change in someone’s behavior can make them question the entire relationship.
• Most overthinkers are caring people, but caring too much can become mentally exhausting.

There is definitely a lot going on in our minds. I know that a tone in someone’s voice can send me into overthinking mode instantly. It doesn’t take much since I have had years of experience.

Live in the moment.

That seems like a small statement but this is something we should do. Don’t think about it, just be in the moment. As much as we try, we will never be ready for every scenario. We can’t cover them all.

As difficult as it is, I am going to try to do better and not overthink things too much. Just let it be.

Overthinking often stems from trying to figure everything out on our own. Proverbs counsels to submit our thoughts to God and trust His direction.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

The Apostle Paul also told us to take our thoughts captive to prevent any negative thoughts from causing us to spiral out of control.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." – 2 Corinthians 10:5

Easier said than done right?  All we can do is try to not overthink it.  It takes practice.  

Thoughts about the New York Knicks

The New York Knicks claimed the National Basketball Association (NBA) a few days ago for their first championship since 1973.  It was fun watching how charged up this city was during the playoffs and championship run.  It was exciting.  The feeling was electric.

This is the first time I have lived in a city that has won a professional sports championship.  The closest was have been before was in 2017 when the Nashville Predators played in the Stanley Cup final in the National Hockey League (NHL).  

It's fun when you are winning.

The Knicks certainly overcame the odds to win, especially a 29-point comeback in Game #4 to take the lead in the series when the San Antonio Spurs almost had the series tied up.

I can't say that I'm a Knicks fan.  I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon when they just won the title.  That would be rude.

Over the past several years, I haven't been a fan of any NBA team.  I grew up as a fan of the Atlanta Hawks but after so many heartbreaking disappointments my interest finally grew cold.   I endured many Boston Celtics-LA Lakers finals and also grew tired of watching during the Chicago Bulls dynasty.

I'm genuinely happy for Knicks fans.  They endured many disappointing seasons and heartbreaking losses.  It's nice to see them enjoy having a championship season.

The parade is scheduled for Thursday.  We won't be going but it will be fun to watch.  

 

Rideshare Experiences in NYC

When I first thought of writing this blog, I had thought I would be blasting the rideshare companies with a blanket conclusion. 

Fortunately it hasn’t been as bad lately but it has taken a while to get here. 

Let me just state this in the beginning. This is New York City.  They drive crazy here. It’s like nowhere else and that isn’t a compliment. So why would I expect rideshare drivers to be any different?

Over the past three months, we have had to go into the city three times a weekend for medical appointments.  The only viable option was to use rideshare services to get to and from the appointments.  Medical issues made it too risky to take the subway. 

When we started, we used Lyft.  Nearly every drive seemed to be intent on driving as fast as they possibly could.  It was the fast and the furious on 99% of the rides.  Many ignored our requests to slow down and to be mindful of the medical issues of their passenger.  One even laughed.  Most could barely understand English.  After several bad experiences, we thought that paying for an higher level ride and getting bigger vehicles would make the rides less stressful and chaotic.  It did not.  Lyft is a joke.  Their comfort level service is a ripoff.  Drivers get around the requirements by making their vehicles to appear to qualify as higher level vehicles.  One thing they do to qualify for more legroom is to slide the front passenger seat all the way forward.  

We abandoned Lyft and decided to try their competition.  

Uber was an improvement but we still had issues in communicating with drivers about our unique situation and medical issues.  We decided to try their upper level Uber Black service. We also began including a note requesting a particular route to avoid the highway and the medical issue which requires them to drive calmly.  Apparently this had worked better.  It seems the note before the driver arrives translate it so they can understand.  It has been better and drivers have been more attentive to how they are driving.  

The other service we have tried is Blacklane.  Blacklane is a chauffeur service. Very high end and expensive.  I surprised my wife with this one day.  It was the best service but it also cost as much as two Uber Black rides. I would choose Blacklane all the time if we could afford it.  

Honestly, the most stressful part of our trips to the hospital have been the rides.  This is ridiculous and it is sad we have had to pay more to get rides that safely accommodate someone with medical issues. The rides to/from medical appointments shouldn't even be a thought compared to the appointment itself.

In case you wondered - no, insurance does not pay for these rides.  There are also other services that transport people to medical appointments are unfriendly and unreliable. Do you want to put up with that kind of service with a bunch of other sick people around you? You would think someone would offer a service to provide safe and stress free transportation for patients. At least give a discount if the trip is for medical reasons.

Yes, I have reached out to the rideshare companies but have received no response.

Best rideshare experience:  Blacklane

Worst rideshare experience:  Lyft Comfort

Biggest problem:  Language/communication 

You may also wonder why I wouldn't just drive us. Are you kidding me? By the time you add up gas, parking, congestion fees and tolls, it would cost about as much. Not to mention the added stress of driving.

For now, we are going to continue using Uber Black service.