What if or Even if?

When we pray, we are told to have faith and trust God. We pray with faith hoping that God will answer our prayers - - but what if He doesn’t? 

When we prayer and have faith, there are no guarantees that it will turn out how we hope it will. Sometimes it could be worse. What happens to our faith then? What if God doesn’t come through for us?

It’s a scary thought.

I think about the story of the three Hebrew boys who refused to worship the king and were thrown into a fiery furnace. When given the opportunity to recant, they stood firm. I’m sure they prayed that God would save them but now they were in the furnace it seemed like they were going to die. Even with that, they said that even if God didn’t deliver them that they still would not bow. The King made the furnace ten times hotter, but the Hebrews were not burned, and the king even saw a fourth person in the fire with them. They were delivered.

I wish I had faith strong enough to say that “even if” God doesn’t answer my prayer that I will still trust Him. It’s easy to say that you will when you aren’t going through something, but it is a different thing when you are in the furnace.

You pray for someone you love to be healed and they die.
You pray for financial help, and you are forced to go bankrupt.
You ask for deliverance and your situation get worse.
You ask for God to remove a difficult person from your life, and He replaces them with two difficult people.

Regardless of how much faith we have, we aren’t ready for the opposite answer to our prayers. That is when our faith is truly put to the test.

Fear is “what if”
Faith is “even if”
It is a huge leap. It takes a lot of courage to get to the “even if” place.

The “even if” place is trusting in God even if things get worse or totally opposite of what we are praying for.

That’s the place we need to be. That’s the place where there is true peace. It’s a peace that can’t be explained or understood. The Bible even tells us that when it says that the peace of God, which goes beyond our understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds. (Philippians 4:7). This describes a place we have a solid trust in the middle of our anxieties. Instead of being dependent on a perfect or stress-free circumstance this is an internal stability that can only be from our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Even if things don’t work out, we will still trust Him?

I’m trying to get there.

Thoughts About My Religion

Christian.

That's what I had always considered myself.  

I grew up in religion.  When I was born, my father had just accepted his calling into the ministry.  A few years later he was appointed to his first church in Valdosta, Georgia.  I became a preacher's kid and would be known as that for many years that followed.

I was taught about God and was raised in a church family.  My life was about the church.  Our specific denomination was very strict and a lot of rules which were intended to keep its members "holy" in some way.  

When I left home and went out on my own I had to unlearn and relearn some things about my religion and who God really was.  For years I tried to find my "calling" in the ministry as if it were some holy grail that would magically transform my life.  

Then life happened.  Twists and turns.  Decisions and choices made which changed me.  

I have always struggled with my relationship with God.  How is it possible to talk to someone who never talks back?  How can you even be sure that in the world of billions of people that He could possibly hear my prayers?  

Have faith?  Walk in the Spirit?  Read the word?

Those are the answers you are given when you question it.

I don't need a God which only comes out when I'm jumping, clapping and singing songs projected on a screen or ancient hymns from a song book.  I need a God that is there.  Even after all of these years and hundreds of sermons I have heard I am still not sure about any of this.  No, I don't doubt that there is a God.  He's not the one I doubt.  It is me.  I doubt me.  

I don't call myself a Christian because so many Christians have ruined that title with their judgments and political agendas.  I call myself a believer.  

I still believe.  

I just don't have any answers.  Still don't.  That's sad.  After all these years I have no magical relationship with God like others claim.  God doesn't send angels to give me messages or some prophet to guide my way.  My prayers are just one-sided conversations.  

It is a paradox.  I trust God but I don't trust that He knows me.  Quite honestly I am not important to His plans.  He's much like a celebrity.  I know of Him but He does not know me or that I exist.  So I am relegated to a fan who hopes He will notice me.

The Bible says we can be a "friend of God" but He's a silent friend.  

I have known many who have turn away from God and their religion.  Regardless of how I have stated this, I will not.  I will not give up God.  This is who I am and who I have always been.  That doesn't mean I am perfect or an example you should admire.  Far from it.  I have sinned and failed many times.  It isn't always praise and worship songs.  For me, to serve God means to press through even when you feel like I do now.  It's all I know. 

I will talk to God even though I'm not sure I know how to pray.  I will trust in Him to guide me through the steps He orders and circumstances that happen.  This has been my religion.    

Thoughts About Walking in Public

Now that I have lived in NYC for over a year now, I have done a lot of walking on the sidewalks of the city and am familiar with the adventure of walking in public. Someone said that they can get road rage just walking.  I can understand that feeling. Many times I am stunned by how people walk.  There should be some rules so I have my list of unofficial rules for walking in public.

#1

Be aware of your surroundings.

Believe it or not, you may not be the ONLY person walking on the sidewalk.  Walking on the sidewalks of a major city would go a lot smoother if people would just simply beware of others around them.  This will be a common theme among the other rules to follow.

#2  

Walk on this side you drive on.

It’s not hard, people. Since we live in America and drive on the right side of the road, naturally we should also walk on the right side.  Obviously there are times when this is not possible but as a general rule we should all know which side to choose.  I can’t tell you how many times I have been straight on with someone and they could not comprehend this simple knowledge. Walking flows much better when you are are the “right” side of the walkway.

#3

When walking in a group, don’t take up the entire sidewalk.

I have seen people - mostly tourists - walk four, five or six wide across the sidewalk and refuse to move out of the way.  Again - be aware of your surroundings - adjust to other walkers.  You’re not the only one walking.

 

#4

If you have to stop, step to the side first.

Do NOT come to a dead stop or suddenly turn around. I had this happen to me twice just today.  People walking and suddenly decide to either stop suddenly or stop and turn around.  If you need to stop and regroup, it’s best to step to the side and left the walking traffic continue with their pace.

#5

Merge to walkers when exiting a store.

It amazes me how people will exit a store totally oblivious that others might be walking by.  I have had close calls carrying our Starbucks order when people have bolted out of stores and nearly collided with me.  The people on the sidewalk have the right of way.

#6

Don’t tailgate someone.  

Just with driving, you shouldn’t tailgate people walking in front of you.  They don’t need to feel your breath on their neck.  Adjust your stride or pass the person ahead of you.  Don’t walk on their heels.

#7

Don’t blow smoke, cough or sneeze without making sure no one is around you.  

It’s rude and there are also health risks involved in doing it.  I’ve even had people spit in front of me.  That’s gross and totally inconsiderate. 

#8

Be alert at pedestrian crossings.

Street crossings are very dangerous.  You have to look out for vehicles, bicycles, scooters and other transportation on the street.  I yelled at a lady walking in front of me today when she was nearly hit by a bicycle.  Always assume that a vehicle may not yield to you in the crosswalk.  Sometimes they may not even see you.  

#9

Put the phone away when you are walking.

This one is very annoying.  People lose all sense of their surroundings when they are texting or looking at their phones instead of walking.  If you need to look at your phone, step to the side or do it while you are stopped at a crosswalk.  

The main point is to be aware of your surroundings.  We don’t always walk at the same pace and we are all need to be somewhere too.  Think of others.  It’s not that difficult to do.

The worst places to walk in NYC are the tourist areas like Times Square, Central Park or during Christmas.  People lose their minds and forget how to walk in public. 

Recognize the flow of movement, the pace of people walking and realize that you are not the only one walking.