New Year Expectations

People who have gym memberships throughout the year usually dread going to the gym in January because of people who have made resolutions to work out.  The gyms are usually crowded but by the end of February, it typically settles back down to normal levels.

I usually try to manage my expectations of the new year and I’m not much into setting resolutions.  I simply want to improve what I can and not set any unreasonable expectations.  

A year ago my wife and I began the process of selling and purging things in preparation for our move to New York.  It seemed like a daunting task a year ago but now we are here and we got it done.  I haven’t regretted the move.  It was a big move for us but I am glad we made it.  

It was a big task.  I won’t lie to you about that.  I will tell you that I was not onboard with this move in the beginning and all the work it was going to take to get here.  When I began to felt stressed about it, I would constantly remind myself that we couldn’t do it all at one time.  It took small steps and doing a little every day.  That’s the approach you have to take when you are faced with large tasks.  Just take small steps instead of stressing out over the big picture.

Although I often stress out when I see the big picture.   I try not to but I usually have to have a plan.

One of the most important pieces of advice I could give you is to sit down and map out your plan into smaller chunks so that you won’t be overwhelmed.  Also, don’t be so rigid with your plan that you don’t allow yourself room for unexpected situations that might come up.  One of those things you can’t predict - especially when you are selling a house - is any repairs you might need to do after an inspection.  In our situation, I hadn’t predicted that we would need to make repairs to our chimney.  These things happen and you have to expect the unexpected.

Yes I fussed and cussed along the way but in the end everything got done.  

As we start another year, I am not planning another move this year but if we do we will do what we can to get it done.  

Here’s a list that I found which should set our focus on the new year ahead:

1. Self-reflect on your priorities
2. Set goals that make sense.
3. Set your focus on progress, not perfection.
4. If you fail, regroup and keep trying.

Just reset your mind for 2026 and do your best.  

How Will I Finish?

As many of you know, I grew up as a preacher's kid. Most of my life centered around the church.  I did what was expected by my church. I wore the church clothes, and I played my part. It was all I knew then.  My father was obsessive about the church.  It was his life.  Unfortunately, my father left the church after the organization leaders betrayed him.  The events that happened after over 40 years of ministry was the last straw for my parents.

I had my own path which also led to me leaving the church.  I was living a miserable life and suffering from severe depression.  A culmination of events caused me to also leave the church.

I left the church, but I didn’t leave God. I don’t regret growing up in church, I just regret that I didn’t encounter God sooner.  

I’m still figuring things out. I know I have hurt and disappointed people along the way, but I don’t think any of us gets through life without scars. This has been my journey.  I wonder many times how it will all end for me. I want to finish strong. I want my life to mean something.

Life is about our choices.  We all have free will to make them. Sometimes we make the right choice and many times we do not. We can only do the best that we can and make the decision on what we know.  The part that scares us is the unknown.  I have tried to learn to just keep moving forward and have faith that God will work things out.

I once listened to several preachers but now I only listen to a few. Sadly, when they become political, I cut them out. I don’t want to hear Christian nationalism; I want to hear from God. The audio Bible has often become my sermons now. Listening without being slanted by someone’s opinion.  

When my time ends, I want to say that I have finished my race strong.  

We are all getting older. It doesn’t last forever. We have to focus on what is really important. For me, my eternal destination is the most important thing to me. I have had my career, my adventures and experiences.  

Certainly, I have had some interesting stories about the church but I can tell you that you don’t have to be crazy or any sort of religious nut to have a personal relationship with God. You just have to talk to Him and open yourself up to the experience that only you can have with Him. You don’t have to be a member of a political party or even attend church. I have attended many hours of church, held many positions in the church and done the things that others expected but those things aren’t the main thing.

I heard a song recently and the lyrics say:

It ain't about the church clothes
It ain't about a big show
It ain't about the doin' up to measure up
To earn the love, Lord knows
Heaven ain't a zip code
Take me where the light goes
It ain't about the church clothes
Church clothes, church clothes

Your own relationship with God is the main thing.  It's the only thing that matters.  Don't neglect it or ignore it.  God doesn't want your perfect attendance in church, He wants you.

Subway Stories

Riding on the New York City subway system is convenient but it also has its challenges.

One of the challenges are the crazies that we have encountered so far.

Here is an exchange of text messages between me and my wife on our last ride:

Me: The guy across from me is creeping me out. I am avoiding eye contact
Crystal: Yeah he keeps staring Just don’t get up to get off until the train stops.

We have learned to take decisive actions when it gets too creepy. We have a code word which means that we get off at the next stop and change cars or wait for the next subway. We have had to do this a few times.

Another thing we do is to always act like we know where we are going. Don’t act that we are lost or confused.

When waiting for a subway we also stay away from the edge of the platform. There have been too many instances where people have been pushed onto the tracks.

Overall, the subways are safe if you just stay aware of your surroundings. We try not to take any unnecessary chances or put ourselves in bad situations. Unfortunately, the crazies are out there. They either need medication or they have had too much medication.

I have learned a lot about the subway in the past nine months we have lived here but I am not a pro and there is still a lot to learn.

I will say it has been nice to finally live in a place with transit options. I don’t drive as much as I did in the past. I only need to gas up our car about once a month.

On our recent ride and the creepy guy staring intently at me, we waiting until the subway stopped completely at our stop and the doors opened before we jumped off.

I don’t understand people. There are a lot of crazies out there. I’m sure we will encounter more.