Let me give you some background here.
I grew up in a church denomination which taught that wearing jewelry was a sin. Some in the same church today might dispute this however, I witnessed firsthand that we used to turn people out of the church for wearing rings. Yes, I know how that sounds but you didn't live it like I did.
From an early age I was conditioned to look at someone wearing rings as an indication of whether or not they were a "true" Christian. We were strictly prohibited by our church against wearing rings or any form of jewelry because it was “worldly”. We were told not to wear "gold for ornament".
You can imagine the struggles I had when I started dating a girl who didn't attend our church. Yes, this was considered rebellious for someone like me. At this time in my life, I had already left home and living on my own but was still under the pressure of pleasing others and the church teachings. When the relationship got serious and time to propose marriage, I knew she didn't understand my church and the ring issue, so I decided to propose with an engagement ring.
When I told my father, his first comment wasn't one of congratulations. Instead, he asked: "Did you get her a ring?" When I told him I had, he said: "Well, that's the first mistake right there." So that began a turbulent time for me and my relationship. Sadly, I eventually caved in and broke off the engagement since she wasn't a "church" girl, and I am sure the ring issue was a huge part of that. Silly? Yes, it was but, again, you weren't living it and can’t understand the overwhelming pressure I faced at the time.
Fast forward about 20 years.... I was married (without wedding rings) and the church was exploring the idea of relaxing their teachings on jewelry and decided to "allow" wedding rings. This issue created an incredible debate in the church. If you weren't part of our church, you simply have no idea. It was a HUGE debate that went back and forth. Even though the church organization eventually ruled that it was okay to wear wedding rings, some local churches still resisted depending on the personal view of the local pastor.
The local church I attended was one of those. My wife wanted to wear the rings. I was still in turmoil about it. I didn't think it was wrong, but I was having anxiety about being the only ones doing it. Our local pastor was totally against it. When we decided to wear our wedding rings, the pastor asked to meet with me about it. In the meeting I told him that we were going to wear our wedding rings to church. He told me that he was "very disappointed in our decision and that my grandfather would not have been pleased with it." Yes, he definitely pulled the guilt card on me. He went on to ask us to wait a week so he could prepare for us coming to church wearing the rings. Yes, I know how that sounds. I lived it.
Many years later I learned that the pastor had a secret meeting with the other men in the church to decide whether or not we should have any leadership roles in the church simply because we were going to wear our wedding bands. Fortunately, the men decided it was okay, and we were "allowed" to continue in the church. I can tell you that if I had known this information then, things might have turned out a whole lot differently.
When the Sunday arrived, I was dreading it, but we walked in with our rings on, and it felt like everyone's eyes were looking at the rings. Some ignorant ones did make their jabs about the rings. For weeks that followed, we even had someone who would anonymously leave messages on our answering machine with comments about the rings. We finally discovered who it was. It was a teenage girl of another church member. When her mother found out, they met us and apologized.
It all sounds crazy and looking back now it was totally ridiculous to be judged totally on wearing rings. A funny thing happened as a result of that where others also started wearing rings and years later one church member thanks us for breaking the ice.
This whole ring experience changed me. In fact, when I was a teenager, I read Romans 14 where it talked about people who had different beliefs and still accepting them as believers. When I pointed this chapter out to my dad during the proposal situation earlier, he immediately informed me that I wasn't interpreting that chapter correctly - when, in fact, I was just reading it and understanding it as it was written. There wasn’t any super-secret decoding of that passage.
Today, rings/jewelry aren't a big deal to me. I don't use it as a tool to judge anyone. I have learned it is more important to judge people on their actions rather than any jewelry they wear. I have known people who have never worn jewelry to be just as vile and evil than a person who does.
I look back now and see how silly this whole experience had been. We certainly wasted too much time and anxiety over trivial issues. I think the church back then totally missed the point. The heart is what matters.