Tales of the Church: Wearing Shorts

As I get out the shorts for the first time this summer, I think back to the time in my life when wearing shorts was considered a “sin”.

Wearing shorts was a sin?

I grew up in a strict church organization which believed that the wearing of shorts was inappropriate for its members and was viewed as a sinful practice.

My dad was a pastor and was loyal to the church teachings so obviously we weren’t allowed to wear shorts. Our church denomination had something called the “Advice to Members” which stated that: “the wearing of shorts in public should never be practiced.”

We never practiced it - even during the blistering hot Georgia summers.

I once asked my parents why churches in other countries could wear shorts and we could not. I was told that it was part of their culture. I never bought that explanation. If they were part of our church how could they be allowed to wear shorts?

The shorts issue put me in a difficult situation one in high school. At the beginning of a semester, the gym teacher informed us that we would be required to wear uniforms for the class which included shorts.

My dad would have none of that.

He sent a letter to the principal stating that I was not allowed to wear shorts and should be exempt from the requirement. I was the only one in the class not wearing shorts. You can imagine the attention I got for that.

Wearing shorts is not a sin. I figured that out later.

It was quite odd in later years when I came across a photo where my dad was wearing shorts. It was weird considering how extremely strict he had been about it.

I don’t remember when I started wearing shorts but I never had a problem with it. It has been a matter of comfort not religion or abiding by some church “advice”. I also wear them in moderation and don’t go to the extreme either.

As an adult, I have had to relearn many things about the church and my relationship with God. I have learned that it doesn’t bother him if I wear shorts. He is more concerned about the condition of my heart than He is a church groups’ bylaws about wearing shorts.

Thoughts On Growing Old

I was watching a video this week which showed how people from an old TV show have changed. I found myself saying how old they have gotten then I looked in the mirror. 

The painful truth is that I am old now.

Honestly I hate it. How did it get here so fast?

I now move at a slower pace and I have pains that never go away.

A simple sneeze can pull a back muscle and a stumble on a step can cause a tumble.

Is this what my life has become now? Old and slow.

I am realizing the truth of how short life really is. I may not seem short but when you get to where I am it’s seems a blur.

The Bible says the life is like a vapor and it’s true.

I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to do a lot in my life. It seems that some can never appreciate where they are or be content with the life they have.

It’s funny how my mind doesn’t comprehend how old I really am. However, my body will quickly remind me of my limitations now.

As I am the older person now it is disheartening to see how millennials view their elders.

We never expected our grandparents to raise us or babysit us.

We visited them we didn’t expect them to visit us.

We always said yes ma’am/no ma’am and yes sir/no sir.

When we entered a room we always make sure they had a place to sit.

We were patient with our elders. We didn’t have phones that kept us from listening to their stories or valuing their advice.

We always made them feel special on special days.

Most important of all we respected and valued them.

Sadly this is not how it is now in our social media driven world.

It is what it is. I mean I am older but I don’t consider myself as elderly.

I do not look forward to when I eventually lose my independence and need someone to take care of me. I don’t want to be a burden to someone else. 

The good news is that I’m not there yet.  I’m not ready to check into a nursing home. There are still adventures I want to have and enjoy things until the time when I can’t. I’m taking advantage of the time I have now.

The universal truth is that we all get old. We should live our lives and it never should get old to treat others as we would like to be treated.

 

What Will People Think?

Do you worry about what others think of you?

I think we all do to a certain extent and depending on who is around us.

The concern about what others think of us can go to the extreme of worrying too much or not caring at all. There needs to be a healthy balance.

I speak from life experience.

For the first 18 years of my life, I grew up as a preacher’s kid. There were always people judging me in some way or having their conclusions about me when many times they didn’t even know me.

I was obsessed over what people thought of me and it carried over into much of my early adult life.

There was a time in my life I endured a difficult person who always had her opinions and assumptions about me. It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do, she always had a critical opinion about me. I could never measure up until one day I had a revelation. I realized that it didn’t matter what her opinion of me was. Her opinion didn’t mean she was right.

From that day forward I was a different person.

I became a person who was less worried about what people thought. I didn’t (and never) go to the extreme of never worrying about hurting people’s feelings but I also had to realize that my feelings were important too.

I have made many decisions over the past several years for my own happiness. I’m sure others have been hurt or even disappointed in me but that is on them. I can’t be responsible for other’s expectations of me. I lived that life too many years and wasted opportunities to be happy earlier in my life. Whatever people think of me is between them and whatever God they serve.

When people want to hear yes, and you tell them no, they never like it. But those who are truly your friends will give you the freedom to make your own decisions. People who genuinely care about you and not what you can do for them will be happy for you.

Unfortunately, I have had family members in my life who were quick to judge and turn on me. One mistake would wipe out many times of good. They would be quick to cut me off without giving me the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I have had to endure the bad feelings to preserve boundaries in my life. You will realize that in life hurting people will hurt others. We have to expect that and set our boundaries to manage those people who are in our lives.

Am I bitter? No. Just learned a valuable and painful lesson from it. People still have their assumptions about me. That’s fine. I can’t do anything about that. I can only take one step at a time. Life is like that. You do the best you can.

The reality is that we can’t possibly please everyone. I have tried and I can tell you that you will live a frustrated life if you try.

We all have our own journey, and we should not live our lives based on our expectations of others.