When People Disappoint Us

“Milton, I am disappointed in you."

Those words hit me hard when a former pastor said those to me many years ago. The issue he was disappointed in me about was very trivial but it was still difficult to hear.

It wasn't the first time nor that last time I have disappointed someone. I have also suffered some stingy disappointment myself. We all have.

If you live long enough people are going to disappoint you. 

Sometimes we either set our expectations too high for people to meet.  There are also times when we get burned so many times that we look for reasons to be disappointed.  We look for reasons to be disappointed so we can confirm those expectations.

Life is not a journey without people letting us down.  If there is one thing I learned about being disappointed in people is that it will happen but can't allow it to cause us to expect everyone to let us down. People are human and imperfect. We have to understand that.  Sometimes people fail us.  It isn’t always intentional.  When it happens we can’t let it overcome us.  

If someone disappoints us, we should first give them a chance to explain.  Sometimes it could be a misunderstanding.  If it isn’t, we have to be willing to forgive and reconcile the relationship with the person who disappointed us.  If forgiveness doesn’t work then we just need to walk away.  

Has this person done this before?  Is this a recurring thing?

Sometimes you just have to let it go.  Don’t hang onto it and don’t let the negative feeling become emotional baggage.  

Also remember that you have disappointed people too. How would we want to be treated if we were the ones who disappointed someone?

Disappointment stings. It hurts. There are people right now we all can think of that are a disappointment to us. They have either done or said something that changed our relationship with them in some way. Sadly, people will let us down but we have to be quick to bounce back from the disappointment. We can overcome it and decide how to navigate through it. Maybe it means we have to permanently end our relationship with someone or it may also mean that we must negotiate how a relationship will proceed from the disappointment. In my own life I can look back and see those examples. With some I have had to burn bridges and move on from the disappointment and others where issues were resolved and continued.

Don't look for chances to be disappointed because you will find it. Instead, be someone that responds better to it and learns from it.

Life Is Messy

Life is messy. 

There are times that my own life has had its messy moments. We all have. We have all had those moments we would like to forget. Life doesn’t always work out like we have planned but it always works out.

Our journey in this life has many twists and turns. It is filled with ups and downs. We are formed by the decisions we make. Making decisions is just a part of life. We do the best we can. I used to be obsessed with making the absolutely perfect decision but I have learned that you can’t predict the future and you can only make decisions based on the information you have - not on the what ifs.

We have to navigate through the messy parts of our lives. We figure out who we are when we are going through the messes.

I will admit to you that I get rattled sometimes. While I have faith in God and trust in Him, I am not perfect and I let things get to me and worry too much about things that happen to me. I try to have peace but sometimes that peace isn’t there for me. I have to regroup and regain my focus.

When life is messy, God is not surprised by the chaos, mistakes, or unexpected detours, but instead remains present, faithful, and actively working to shape us. It’s easy to have faith when we are jamming to our favorite praise and worship songs but real life is not a Jesus musical. Real life can be challenging and pretty frustrating at times.

When we are going through the messy parts, we have to recognize that these times will come. We can’t avoid them. The only way to get through them is to get through them. Acknowledge it instead of panicking or trying to force changes based on our emotions at the moment. We have to keep our emotions stable.

Faith requires that we believe even if we don’t see it. We can only control the things we can control When we are going through the messes, we also need to trust in the support of the people we trust. There are people on your side. Lean on their strength and always seek wise counsel.

We have all messed up at some point but if we look back at those times we see what we have learned and how we have grown through those times. Jesus told us that in this life we would have tribulations. He didn’t sugar coat so we can expect it but He did tell us that despite the struggles, the core message is that He is our source of hope and comfort.

We can’t control every aspect of life but we can choose how we respond to the mess.

Thoughts about the Winter Olympic Games

Over the past two weeks, I have watched the Winter Olympic games.  I have mostly had it on in the background while I am doing other things.  The Olympic games are unique and the competition usually involves people we never hear of until the games.

I have some thoughts about these Olympics:

• They like to tell us that these athletes are the “best in the world”.  I’m not so sure about that.  In reality these are the ones would could afford to train and compete.  For instance, for someone to train as an Olympic figure skater, it costs between $50,000-$100,000 or more.  It isn’t cheap and not something everyone can afford to do.  So there could be better athletes out there but just simply don’t have to money to compete.
• What’s up with this sport of curling?  It seems every time I turn on the games that there are people screaming and sweeping.  Have you tried to sit and watch an ENTIRE game?  Painful.  
• The television coverage of the games is a bit frustrating.  I have tuned in to watch figure skating and suddenly I’ve been bounced to watch skeleton or double-person luge.  With all the streaming options, you’d think we could just watch the live coverage of the sport we want to watch.  
• Speaking of television coverage, the reporter interviews have been horrible.  Last night one of the reporters interviewed a skater who was just devastated with her performance.  The reporter asked, “How did you feel when you came off the ice?”  How do you think she felt?  What a terrible question.  Just make her relive it again and cry about it.  Good grief.  
• How about some of these sports?  Can you really bounce down to your local ski lodge and decide you want to do some sloping?  Yeah, I doubt there is a place to do all those turns, flips and acrobatics.  
• Every four years we get reacquainted with terms that we don’t normally use any other time such as “twizzles” and “Salchow”.  Last night I heard some new terms such as bread and butter at one of the ski jumping events.  I’m still not sure what they mean by “butter”.  

It is also difficult to see how much pressure these athletes are under - especially when they are “expected” to get a Gold Medal.  Several have caved in under the pressure.  It is sad to see how crushed these young athletes are after a terrible performance.  They have given up so much of their lives for this one moment at such a young age.  

Some of my favorite sports to watch are: figure skating, bobsled, short-track speed skating and ice hockey.