Sticks and Stones

Have you heard that “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me?”

What a bunch of bull! 

Words hurt. Sometimes they hurt more than sticks and stones.

We live in a world where it is too easy for people to sling those verbal "sticks and stones". They hate with hurtful words and comments on social media as well as face-to-face. 

I will admit, I can be sensitive at times.  It's one (of the many) things I continue to work on.  I don't like the hurtful comments and negativity.  That’s one reason I have never enabled the comments for this blog. I don’t need to read any comments good or bad. I blog because I want to write and I don’t need the affirmation or negativity of others.

People are mean and hurting words can get you to where they can cut you deep. I have known people who will say hurtful things until they find that button which will hurt the most. I can withstand hurting words until you get to a certain point and find that place that truly hurts me.  It's sad that people have to do that.  Don't be that person to break someone's spirit.  The last time someone broke my spirit, it changed the course of my life. 

Hurtful words are bad enough but it is often the WAY someone says something which stings the most. The tone is so important. I think I can be hurt many times by the way someone talks to me than the actual words itself. 

Let’s be real. We are going to be hurt by what someone says. No one is immune. Honestly hurting words from church people over the years have been etched into my memory and hurt the worst. You would think that church is the last place you would expect it.

So why do people say hurtful words?

Sometimes they are hurting and they lash out because they can’t handle their emotions.
Sometimes people are jealous of you and think it is their job to bring you down a notch.
Sometimes people can’t deal with their own failures and take pleasure of ruining your success.
Sometimes people are just mean. Period.

We have all been guilty of saying the hurtful words too. If you’re human, you’ve done it. I know I have and I have regretted it.

We are all shaped by words.

I often recall my own father calling me an “idiot”many times when he was upset at me or frustrated with me. That shaped my personality and gave me a fragile self-esteem which I have had to rebuild over the years.

When we are hurt by someone’s words, the most important thing we can do is to forgive quickly. Trust me, this is hard to do because the first reaction most of us have is to fire back with our own hurtful words. Forgiving quickly is so important. If we don’t then the words sink in and create a place in our heart into a grudge. When it gets to the point of being a grudge, it can last way too long.

The Bible urges us to be "slow to speak and quick to listen".  I know some who have no problem to say what they are thinking but it is probably wise to always think before we speak, especially if what we say is going to hurt someone else.  While it is okay to have our own opinions and to speak our mind, it is not okay to hurt others.  We can still speak up for ourselves and defend ourselves without attacking someone else.  

Make the effort to speak kind words to someone today.  

The Hope We Have

Easter represents the hope we have because of the resurrection!

Each year this day renews my own faith and hope that I have in Christ.  One of the classic hymns I always loved to sing in church on Easter has been "He Lives" and the part that always excites me is where is says: "You ask me how I know He lives?  He lives within my heart!"

Today many do not believe and choose to celebrate with the Easter Bunny, colored eggs and candy.  Although I have no problem with those celebrations, there is more to Easter than those things.  The resurrection of Jesus Christ over 2,000 years ago gives us the hope and promise that death doesn't have to be the end for us and our departed loved ones. 

I think you would agree with me that our world needs hope.  There is so much division and hatred today.  People do not value the lives of others.  

Jesus Christ gives us hope.  The Easter Bunny does not.  The Easter Bunny is a fictional character.  Jesus Christ actually existed.  

Besides the gospels and the letters of Paul in the New Testament of the Bible, non-biblical works are also considered legitimate sources which prove the existence of Christ.  This includes the Antiquities of the Jews (Testimonium Flavianum, Jesus' own brother James) by Jewish historian and Galilean military leader Josephus.  He is also mentioned in Annals by Roman historian Tactius.  Multiple independent sources affirm that Jesus actually had siblings.  Contemporary non-Christian sources in the first and second centuries never deny the existence of Jesus including Pagan or Jewish writers who oppose Christianity.

Of course, none of these sources won't convince many who do not believe.  It comes down to whether you believe or not.  

If Christ had not risen from the dead, why would the Apostles have gone on with spreading the gospel?  Why make the sacrifices they made for a lie or some kind of conspiracy cover up?  They were also martyred for their beliefs.  

From GotQuestions.org:

While martyrdom is remarkable, it is not necessarily compelling. It does not validate a belief so much as it authenticates a believer (by demonstrating his or her sincerity in a tangible way). What makes the earliest Christian martyrs remarkable is that they knew whether or not what they were professing was true. They either saw Jesus Christ alive-and-well after His death or they did not. This is extraordinary. If it was all just a lie, why would so many perpetuate it given their circumstances? Why would they all knowingly cling to such an unprofitable lie in the face of persecution, imprisonment, torture, and death?

While the September 11, 2001, suicide hijackers undoubtedly believed what they professed (as evidenced by their willingness to die for it), they could not and did not know if it was true. They put their faith in traditions passed down to them over many generations. In contrast, the early Christian martyrs were the first generation. Either they saw what they claimed to see, or they did not.

Among the most illustrious of the professed eyewitnesses were the Apostles. They collectively underwent an undeniable change following the alleged post-resurrection appearances of Christ. Immediately following His crucifixion, they hid in fear for their lives. Following the resurrection they took to the streets, boldly proclaiming the resurrection despite intensifying persecution. What accounts for their sudden and dramatic change? It certainly was not financial gain. The Apostles gave up everything they had to preach the resurrection, including their lives.

You don't have to act crazy to be a believer and you don't have to join a church.  What harm is there to simply believe?  Faith doesn't mean we have to know everything or have all the facts.  What harm is it to believe that Jesus Christ rose from the grave which gives us the hope that we can also do the same?

I choose to believe.   I choose hope.

Enduring Difficult Times

We all go through difficult times. That’s just the reality of life.

There is a dumb saying that goes:  "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"

I don't know about that.  It's still not any fun to go through them.  

I can look back at my own life and see the difficult times I have had to go through and endure. I have endured times of working with difficult people, unpleasant projects and times that just I wished I could have avoided.

Life just doesn’t always go as planned. If it did I would choose to avoid going through difficult times.

Several years ago my wife and I moved to Tampa, Florida.  After just a month we wanted to leave.  I had to ride the bus every day to work and the work situation was not what I had expected.  During this time there was a hiring freeze so it took us two years to leave there.  Two years may not seem like a long time unless you are going through it and didn't know how long it was going to last.  I often said that if I just knew when the end was coming that I could have done a lot better.  It wasn't until later that I could look back on those two years and see God's purpose during that time.  Of course, it would have been nice to have that information when it seemed long and hopeless.    

Sometimes we might how long it tough times will last but most of the time we do not. The only advice is suck it up. No way to sugar coat it. I am like you, I am not always patient at being patient but if you are a believer, you can know that with God that all things work together for His purpose.  

When enduring hard times, I have tried to cling to things that will help me during the difficult time.

One thing that I always focus on is that things will eventually change. Either the situation will change or a time will come when we can change it.

When going through hard times we have to accept it for what it is and look for the moments that help renew us. It could be meditation, quiet time, encouraging music or anything that helps to renew you. For me it isn’t always the same thing depending on the situation. The most recent time it I took a few minutes before going to sleep to listen to some encouraging music.   My go-to song during hard times has always been the song "Made Me Glad" by Hillsong.  The chorus always lifts me up when it says:

You are my shield, my strength
My portion, Deliverer
My shelter, strong tower
My very present help

Just do whatever works for you.  Then when you have gotten through the difficult time, evaluate it so you can know how to improve enduring the next one.

The thing about difficult times are either you are getting ready to go through one, you are in one or you have just gotten through one.

Difficult times are going to happen. Just do the best we can to get through it.