Keeping the Flame Burning

There's an old song which was performed by Debby Boone in the 1980s called "Keep the Flame Burning".  The song helped to encourage people in their relationship with Jesus Christ.  

I have had many times when I have become tired and doing my best to keep that flame burning in my own heart.  Believer it or not, I get tired of being a believer.  I'm not going to give up because this is who I am and I've gone too far to give up now but I do get weary.  The seasons of discouragement come and I have to push through it.

It gets discouraging when it seems no one believes in God anymore.  It also gets tiring when nothing is happening in your own life.  I never enjoy the dry spells in my life.  Prayers are prayed but there doesn't seem to be any power in it and nothing changes.  

If you've never experienced these times as a believer then you haven't been a believer for very long.  There is no magic formula or bypass for the times of discouragement or when the "flame" is burning a little dim.  The only way to GET through it is to GO through it.  

Isaiah 40:31 talks about being weary and addresses these times when the flame needs to keep burning.  We are supposed to wait on the Lord to renew our strength and once He renews us we will have renewed energy.  Isaiah describes it as mounting up with wings like eagles.  It means we have to persevere through these times and not give up.  Being a Christian isn't always easy and no where did Jesus say it would be.  

I think the key takeaway from this verse in Isaiah is where he says to "wait" on the Lord.  I think we are tempted to panic during the dry spells in our lives and force the issue.  I don't like waiting but sometimes waiting isn't bad.  The renewed strength comes in many ways.  For me it has come in finding a new song or an encouraging word in some other form.  It always comes if we wait and not panic.

Jesus knew what dry seasons were like too.

40 days.  That's how long He spent in the wilderness Himself. 

And I think a few days is a long time.

I still don't like it.   It stinks to be in the wilderness.  Nothing happening and not knowing when it will end.  Will my "wilderness time" last 40 days?  I certainly hope not.  

Sadly, some people think that when a christian is going through a dry season in their spiritual experience that they have either sinned or they have become slack in some way.  This is not true.  It even happened to some of the Bible heroes.  The prophet Elijah experienced a significant shift from a spiritual high to a deep depression after his dramatic victory over the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel where he had witnessed God's power but later his life was threatened by Queen Jezebel which led him to run in fear and despair.  

The important thing is to stay the course.  Don't panic and don't give into despair when you are going through a dry spell.  Push through it however long it takes.  

I'm down right now but there is no despair and I'm certainly not giving up.  I have been here before.        

Jack of many Callings, Ministry of None

I have tried a lot of things in ministry to find my calling.

Preacher
Speaker
Media Minister
Youth Life Team Director
Youth Group Director
Sunday School Teacher
Prayer leader
Youth Camp Counselor
Church tract coordinator (don’t ask)
Church sign message changer
CPMA Director (don’t ask #2)
Singer
Brass Band member

There may have been more but that should give you a good idea of the many things I have tried to find my place in church ministry in past years of my life. Nothing ever seemed to fit. It never flowed for me like it did others.  It was frustrating.

When I was younger, I was led to believe that we all have a “calling” to do something in ministry and we should seek God for that calling.  I did but I totally missed it.  I floundered a lot. It frustrated me. I have some church friends who were called to ministry at a young age and they are still doing it. 

Yes, I tried many things to find my calling and although I never found it in the list of things above, I did try. I may have tried and failed - sometimes I failed miserably but I did something. 

I don’t know why I couldn't find mine. I did know that there were two areas I did NOT want to pursue.  I did NOT want to be a pastor since I grew up as a preachers' kid.  I also never wanted to be a deacon since I never had great experience deacons. 

I did find my calling.  

Eventually.  

You are looking at it.  My calling is to write.

Am I a good one?  No.  Do I make grammatical errors?  Often.  

The one thing I do know is that it flows for me.  

Obviously if you’ve read any of my blogs you know I get out there sometimes but there is just something to the feeling of inspiration when it flows through me to my fingers as I type. I have felt that more being a writer than anything else. I like being able to inspire others with my writing. Many years ago I published a newsletter and even had a mailing list of readers. It was an awesome feeling when I would receive feedback about something I had written that touched someone. That’s when you know you are doing something in ministry when you can encourage someone. 

I think there are many who are frustrated because they feel like that have to pursue a certain area of ministry. We must - they say - find our calling. I know some folks right now who THINK they were called to preach behind a pulpit but there is no way they were meant for that purpose but yet they force it because maybe they think it is expected of them.

There were some who tried to call me to be a preacher simply because my father and grandfather had been. I tried and found it wasn’t something I flowed in doing. It didn't fit.  Callings aren’t something hereditary. Just because your daddy and granddaddy did it doesn’t mean you have to do it.  

I also mistakenly believed that a calling was for life but sometimes you are called to various ministries for different seasons in your life. Some people do get a calling for a lifelong ministry but we should never box God into anything.

I wish I had learned the truth about what my calling was earlier in my life. I often felt like Israel when they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years before entering the promised land.  Some of us were meant to wander in the wilderness of our lives until we reached our purpose.

My purpose is writing.

Early on I will admit that I had grand ideas for my writing. I began with the newsletter thinking I would eventually turn it into a magazine. I also wrote a few books thinking I would make it “big” in publishing.

Nope. Those things never happened.

When I have prayed about my writing it seems that God impresses me with the same answer every time. Just do what I am doing. Nothing more. Nothing less. Don’t do it to make it “big” or for any other reason than to just write what He gives me to write. I’m good with that now. A calling into ministry should never be to make it big or to be famous. Ministry is a call to service and nothing more than that. Whatever you do, do it for the glory of God not your own glory.

I wish I had discovered this sooner.

If you haven't found your calling in ministry, don’t stress about it. It will come. It doesn’t have to be some supernatural mystery. Just do what you know to do and you will find your purpose. It may change tomorrow or some point in the future but don’t be frustrated.

Be open and trust God.

My First Dentist Experience

I recently had my wisdom tooth extracted.  I know this not a big deal for most people.

It was for me.

For over 60 years I had never been to a dentist. I was very fortunate to never had any problems which required me to go to the dentist. My dad was very strict about brushing and taking care of my teeth growing up. It was a constant thing which ingrained a discipline in me to take care of my teeth.

I never gave my teeth much thought until a couple of months ago when I was eating a snack and discovered a piece of my tooth had broken off.

Oh no! Panic ensued.
What’s happening?
How painful is this going to be? 

How much will this cost?

I scheduled my first dentist appointment where he found that I needed to go to an oral surgeon to have the remaining part of my wisdom tooth removed. The dentist office referred me to two oral surgeons however, neither one was covered on my dental insurance.

That was the next challenge which was to find an oral surgeon who was covered under my dental plan. I went down the list of oral surgeons from my insurance website. I finally found one on the third attempt.

The next challenge was getting the referral and X-rays from the dentist to the oral surgeon. It took four phone calls to get this done (and I thought pulling the tooth was the pain). Resolving the dental insurance and getting the necessary paperwork from one office to another was an annoyance for something I was already dreading.

Once we had everything finalized and the date set, it was time for my anxiety to begin.  Unfortunately, I read some mixed reviews about the oral surgeon.  I resisted the urge to cancel.

My wife assured me things would be fine. I know that I annoyed her with my worry about the procedure. I will honestly admit that the anxiety almost overcome me at times. I even had a nightmare one night about going to the dentist. Yes, it worked on me pretty bad.

When the day of the procedure arrived, my nerves were on edge. We arrived for the appointment where I was not expecting the waiting room to be packed with people. It was NOT what I needed. I didn’t need to hear other people’s conversation or their dental stories. I wanted it to be over. After several agonizing minutes, I was called back.

I was led back to the room where the procedure would take place. It was an intimidating scene. The dental assistant sat me down and positioned me in the chair. She attached the blood pressure monitor which first read 166/103. Then she proceeded to attach monitors to my chest and lay other surgical things around me and on me.

The oral surgeon arrived and introduced himself.

“Hi Mr. Hooper, I’m Jeffrey Carter and I will be doing the procedure today.”

I responded with some humor.

“I have heard that you have done one or two of these before”

He came back with: “Yes, today already.”

He asked about my previous experience with general anesthesia. I told him of a surgery many years ago and had no trouble with it then. He started looking for a vein to use for my IV. He had a little trouble at first as he tried my wrist, top of my hand and my arm. He had me make a fist. Finally he inserted the port into the top of my hand.

“What kind of car do you drive?” He asked.

“Honda SUV” I answered.

He was obviously asking these questions waiting for the anesthesia to take effect.

My blood pressure reading hit 177/111.

“Who drove you here?” He asked, continuing his questioning.

“My wife Crystal.”

“What do you do Mr. Hooper?”

“I’m an eDiscovery Specialist.”

“What’s that?" he asked.

“We can take the information off of your smartphone and……”

I was out.

It is really weird how anesthesia works. I assume I would gradually drift off like going to sleep but it was like I was turned off immediately from the world.

I woke up with the dental assistant helping me into a wheelchair. She wheeled me out of the office to my wife who helped into our car.

I don’t remember much after that. My wife said I kept asking about my tooth and that I needed it to give to the insurance company to prove that I had it done. She said I asked about my tooth repeatedly. I also said I wanted a steak. Not something I would have normally asked for.

Clearing the fog from the anesthesia took the rest of the day. Aside from the soreness, I have felt no pain. Makes me feel a bit silly that I was so anxious about it before.

I’m still eating soft mushy foods right now but I am relieved that it went as smoothly as it did.

I guess I need to do a better job dealing with my anxieties for situations like these. Although, I hope I never have to do this again, at least I have this experience behind me.